so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
