i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize