Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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