I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
