The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
