the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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