i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I will pee on everything he values.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
