Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
