people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
