We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
