So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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