last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
