By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
