They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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