she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Terrible idea I love it
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
