I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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