Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
