Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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