Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
