She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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