Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
