I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
