This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
