I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
