Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
