I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
