Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
