I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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