A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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