I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
