When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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