how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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