69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
