You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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