You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
