But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
