summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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