hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
