im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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