Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You work out of a Hotel?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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