Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i just google imaged poop.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize