Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
