if you like me you must not know who I am
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
