she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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