Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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