WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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