wakey wakey hands off snakey
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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