So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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