I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
