one two three fourrrrnication!
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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