So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
