its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I didn't shave. On purpose
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Randomize
