Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
