this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
