What did we do last night that was yellow?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
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