It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You pole danced in your parka.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
