I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
