awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
