It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
