Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
